The Burning Stupid: Local Gun Store edition

I have a local gun store I like. They're good folks, knowledgeable, friendly, and they have a decent selection.

This post is not about them.

Random picture courtesy of Google

I'm going to withhold the name of the store and the precise date that I visited, to protect both the innocent and the terminally stupid. However, this story needs to be told as a cautionary tale. Gun store clerks are salesmen, and not necessarily good ones.


I was driving one day, and I saw a gun shop I hadn't made it into. Little mom and pop places like this one tend to be hit or miss, but this is the first time I walked out of one with the firm impression that somebody is going to be shot there, sooner or later, and not on purpose.

If I'd gone into this place with a bingo card of all the idiotic things ever said or done in a gun shop, I'd have filled out most of it.

So I went in, started shooting the breeze with the salesmen. Eventually asked to look at one of the Smith and Wesson M&P handguns under the glass. It was a 9mm, and I immediately got the typical macho speech from the guy. You know the one. "9mm will just make a bad guy angry. You really ought to be shooting a .45, which will blow him backward ten feet and knock him on his ass." I just smiled and nodded, not wanting to get in an argument with the guy.

Still, I say the argument between 9mm and .45 has been going on for a long time, with no shortage of dead bodies on either side. I vote 9mm, because you get more cartridges per mag, follow-up shots are easier, and it's cheaper. If hollowpoints weren't a thing, then I'd probably be in the .45 camp too, but thankfully we can carry effective ammunition in this country. For now, at least.

Anyways, not ten minutes later, I'd moved on to peruse their long arms, specifically a Remingon 870. This dude who'd just finished telling me that 9mm was for pussies proceeded to inform me that birdshot is an effective home defense round, since it won't penetrate internal walls.

Wait, what???

Sorry, but a projectile that isn't going to penetrate drywall isn't going to penetrate the bad guy for a reliable stop, either. If you're firing a shotgun at a human target, you have two choices: buckshot or slugs. Save the birdshot for...wait for it...birds.

Next I heard another one off the "typical stupid shit you hear at gun stores" list, one that's a pet peeve of mine. One of the other clerks was helping a young lady who was shopping for a personal defense handgun, and he immediately steered her toward the revolvers. Specifically, a pink revolver. His reasoning? "Most women like revolvers because they're simpler to use," he said to her.

Honestly, guys, can we not just get over this idiotic presumption that women are too inherently stupid to learn how to operate a semiautomatic handgun? I've known women who are nurses, doctors, surgeons, fighter pilots, cops, helicopter pilots, and astronauts. The fairer sex isn't any inherently less intelligent than us guys. Get over yourselves.

Oh, I also had one of them tell me that, if he were in a gunfight and one of the aggressors turned and ran away, he'd shoot the guy in the back so that no one was alive to dispute his side of the story once the cops showed. You can't make this stuff up.

Throughout the previous conversations, I was rather unimpressed with these guys' firearms handling. I had to teach one of them how to lock the bolt open on an AR-15, because he was clueless. Muzzle awareness was just not a thing; they flagged each other repeatedly, and I had to step aside several times to avoid it, myself. That probably should have been my cue to leave, but I (stupidly) dismissed it as "typical gun store clerk behavior."

However, at one point, the young lady who'd been looking at handguns expressed an interest in a shotgun for home defense. The clerk showed her a 20 gauge, and was trying to impress her with how easily the weapon 'points.' To do this, he broke approximately all the rules ever penned on firearms safety.

First, he handed the woman a shotgun that I'm fairly sure I never saw either of them clear. He showed her how to work it, then walked across the store and said, I shit you not, "point it at me and pull the trigger."

I'm amazed he's still alive.

At that point, I popped smoke and got the hell out of there before someone got shot. Moral of the story? Maintain your situational awareness, even (especially) when you're around other gun guys.